Marriage is just like a parcel or a gift; you open it and continue to live happily with it for the rest of your live.
As all brides come closer towards their wedding day, they start to fantasize about their prince charming and how magical their lives would be when they step into the new world with him. That thought comes crashing down when her expectations are not met and we find girls filing for divorce. This issue has increased as we observe the rising rate of split-up. No society prefers to see divorces taking place, and we need to find out ways to stop them because both parties need to understand the union and think rationally before taking such a step.
Every person who participates in the event of marriage should play their role wisely, be it the bride, the groom, the mother-in-laws, the sister-in-laws or the father-in-laws. They all should come forward and help in joining the newly born relation rather than chipping in their favor or separating it. They all should act rationally and bear in mind that the other person holds value too.
Even though there should be a guideline for all the relations present in the bond of marriage, but we will concentrate on the bride, in this article. A bride, is a strong party in this relationship, she is the person who can keep the entire connection intact or can even shatter it. If given the correct instructions she can conquer all hurdles in her way; here are a few heads-up for the bride:
1. Being Judgmental won’t Help:
When a bride steps into a new household, she should not be eager to pass judgement on people around, rather than she should try to observe her given situations and act accordingly. she should think that she is hiking a mountain and the more the need to move forward, the more stable her footings should be. She should have an open mind and a steady mind set.
2. Give Respect and Get Respect:
One should always remember that the person they married embrace respect, the same way you would do. A husband is not a toy made out of rubber that one can easily twist and turn him and make him of any shape that you desire. Do not enter into marriage thinking you’re the boss and everyone else should bow before you. If you need to make yourself heard, do it with respect.
3. Learn to Value the Family:
If you think your husband is an apple that you plucked from a tree, and now you can easily benefit from it, you should remember that until you don’t honor the tree the apple would not taste as good as it is. The relation that you have just started holds a minor position because he also is a major part of that clan and he needs to be sincere to them too. You need to realize his relations with his family and learn to value them too because they are important. He cannot cut himself loose from them as they are his family, the quicker you understand this bond the easier it will be for you to live within the given circumstances.
4. Do Not Complain:
Once you have entered the new household you will find yourself being scrutinized more than you can expect, this is because they are also observing and judging you just like you are doing to them. If in the middle of all this you find yourself caught in an argument do not run to tattle it all to your husband. He will most likely be found on their side rather than on yours. This will not only create a rift between you two but will also make you standings weakest in the family and you will lose vital position. Try to find rational ways to conquer situations calmly on your own rather than crying and complaining about them.
5. Be Calm and Give them Time to Realize your Importance:
It is up to you to understand them, you cannot expect them to give you the charge of everything the next day. They have been living in a pattern for their whole life in its you who has to keep calm and give them space to let you in their circle of life. You cannot take the lead rather than humbly ask for a place. This way, once you get the hang of their system in time, you can work accordingly with a little adjustment of your own. Also you will strengthen your bond with your husband and his family.
6. Give Importance to your New House:
Yes, your mother’s place is the one place you miss the most, but it can wait. You don’t need to rush there all the time. This will give an impression that you are not happy with the new family and will raise eyebrows towards your sincerity. Try to be obliged to the new environment, the people and slowly things will turn out your way.
7. Do not Show off your Background:
This is one point where you really need to think wisely if you show off your background in front of your in-laws, they will definitely get triggered by it. They will start to think of you as a proud person who purposely talks about such things to insult them. This will not get you any good. It will bring about jealousy, rude behavior and disadvantages to you.
8. Slow and Steady Wins the Race:
Be friendly, but do not be very friendly. You may think that you are being best friends with them, but they might be getting the feeling that you are invading their privacy. Having a new person in their territory is already the piece of cake they wanted and now seeing that person stride about in the whole household might be more than they can digest. Relax, keep your behavior and yourself calm also be cautioned at all times, let them open up to you rather than enter by force with a smile.
9. The Relation is Not a Competition:
Try to win hearts with your attitude. Don’t think you are playing a game or are enrolled in a competition that you have opponents. They are all your family now, and you have to abide by them and love them.
10. Divorce is Not an Alternative:
Why get married when a card of divorce is in your deck. One can never win if they have thought of giving up in their heads. If divorce is stirring up in the back of your mind you will never take extreme measures to save your relationship. Rather than that, you will try to bail out whenever possible. This is not the solution, apart from when there are severe measures.
Lastly, always remember that men are from mars and women are from Venus. They are all in all very different from each other, but they can produce best results when put as one. One just needs to understand and calmly create a path to walk in together. This is the best solution to live happily ever after.
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