Two years ago, after a long day of classes, I was looking forward to mindlessly scrolling through my Twitter; however, I was immediately alarmed when I saw that several of my friends had posted a YouTube video entitled “Hate Comes to Orange County.”
I was horrified with what I saw.
A family of four exits their car on their way to a charity dinner to raise money for women’s and homeless shelters. They had been looking forward to a lovely dinner and an opportunity to catch up with friends; instead, they are met with hatred. A few hundred protestors have shown up, harassing those attending. As families walk into the event hall, protestors scream insults, including “Get out of here. Go back home!”
Despite the vitriol that was spewed at this protest, I was heartened by the support the Muslim community received days later. Many local politicians and residents of the area said that they were embarrassed by the protestors’ actions. Others condemned the protestors for implying that Muslims are inherently un-American.
But there was another aspect to the protestors’ insults other than questioning Muslim patriotism.
As Muslim men walked by, many of the protestors screamed, “Why don’t you go beat up your wife? It’s what you do every night!” Not many politicians seemed bothered by this assumption about Muslim men. It seems, when it comes to portraying Muslim men, the image of the misogynistic tyrant is dominant.
As an American Muslim woman, I find it terribly frustrating that my brothers in faith have been labeled as “oppressive” simply because they are Muslim. For years, I and countless others have worked to combat the negative images of Islam and Muslims. Frequently, it is a story of repeated frustration and disappointment. Whenever it seems we make headway in our struggle against the misunderstanding of Islam, we get a news story about a gender mutilation case or an honor killing in which the perpetrator is a Muslim man.
That is not to say that these sickening stories are simply “inconveniences” to our efforts. Instead, they are powerful reminders that there are some Muslims out there who—because of existing cultural norms or other factors— have a misconstrued conception of Islam. A look into the life of the Prophet Muhammad, however, reveals that these horrible crimes against women have absolutely no place in Islam.
Prior to the advent of Islam, women in Arabia were treated no better than chattels. Men could marry and divorce women with little regard to their wives’ consent. The Prophet completely overturned existing customs regarding the treatment of women. On countless occasions the Prophet instructed his followers to treat women with kindness. He declared “The best of you are those who are best to your wives.”[1]
The Prophet not only preached kind treatment, but he himself left a high standard for Muslim men to emulate. Muhammad always helped his wives with household chores and looked after his own personal needs, mending and patching his clothes and tending to the family goats.[2] He frequently sought the council of his wives even in political matters such as the signing of treaties. He had a particularly playful relationship with his wife Ayesha, challenging her to footraces and similar games. Although it was not the custom of the time, he was never shy about expressing his love for his wives. One tradition relates that as the Prophet was cobbling his shoes one day, Ayesha complimented Muhammad on his bright and happy expression. Muhammad got up to kiss Ayesha on her forehead and said, “Oh Ayesha, may God reward you well. I am not the source of joy to you that you are to me.”[3]
In light of the Prophet’s example, I cannot help but wrack my brain in despair whenever I learn of such terrible crimes committed by Muslim men against women. Don’t they know the example of the Prophet Muhammad? Don’t they know that he was nothing but kind, compassionate, and merciful to his wives? Don’t they realize that he helped his wives with their housework, took their advice on important matters, and treated them as his partner rather than his subservient? Don’t they know of the scores of hadith that begin with “Treat your wives kindly…”?
Unfortunately, the sins of these misguided and cruel men are a stain on all Muslim men. If we are to transform the overwhelmingly negative image of Muslim men, change must come from the within Muslim community. Muslims today must reject this distortion of Islam that is used to violate the most basic Islamic rights of human decency. The Quran says in this regard:
O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: For God can best protect both. (4:135)
Confronting the problem of honor killings, forced marriages, female excision and other crimes that affect women requires that we more closely examine, question, and challenge the sources that support these heinous crimes. Even if certain scholars have attempted to provide religious justification for them, numerous Quranic verses included the one cited above prove that these practices are simply un-Islamic.
To treat others, whether male or female, with compassion is a Prophetic challenge that we all must work hard to achieve.
[1] Shaikh Muhammad Iqbal, “The Rights and Virtues of Women in Islam,” www. As-Sidq.org. Accessed 16 December 2012.
[2] Karen Armstrong, Muhammad: A Prophet for Our Times (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2006), 127.
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