The Islamic world is extremely cultural diverse and this can also be reflected in Muslim wedding ceremonies. One of the most important things, that many people aren’t aware of, is that Muslim weddings differ from one place to another depending on the culture and traditions of the countries.

Islamic marriages are also referred to as ‘’Nikaah’’ and this means ‘’to unite’’ in English. Also, Islamic marriage isn’t only considered being a social agreement between both partners, but it is also an important legal contract. Even though, there are actual formalities that should be fulfilled, Muslim weddings can be very festive and fun. The marriage officers or individuals, who are responsible for overseeing the marriage contract, are referred to as the ‘’Qadi’’.  They are also responsible for overseeing the unfortunate process of divorce.

Islam wedding formalities are usually divided into three parts; a proposal, providing the bride with ‘’Mahr’’ or “Dowry”, and the uniting ceremony or the ‘’Nikaah’’. The proposal involves the man asking the parents, of the women he wants to marry, for their permission. This is also considered being an act of respect and it is extremely recommended.

The ‘’Mahr’’ is completely different from what many people think. Many people have the idea that it is just like paying the bride to purchase her from her family. However, this is completely untrue most of the time as the money is usually used by the bride to purchase everything she wants such as furniture for the house, clothes, and even jewellery. On the other hand, a dowry is usually determined so that the bride can be secured if anything unfortunate takes place such as in the case of a divorce. This is very important for women especially if they have children.

The ‘’Nikaah’’ is similar to vows and the process is very straightforward. The process involves both women agreeing to marry each other and to sign a marriage contract.

After this takes place, it is completely up to the bride, and her groom to decide what they want to do after it and how they want to celebrate. Muslim married couples celebrate just like any other religion in the world where there are many festivities that take place such as parties or dinners. Muslim couples also go on honeymoons just like everyone else. You will find many Muslim married couples who have traveled to every single place around the world. This will differ from one married couple to another where some of them will finalize everything after signing the contract, whereas others will continue with the celebration.

These traditions are very important to understand because many people think that the processes of Muslim marriages are very complicated and boring. However, this is completely untrue, and they are just like marriages in any other religion. The process of Muslim Marriage is something that takes place thousands of times per day, and it is a very fun process. Divorce is also unfavorable in Islam, and this is why both couples should try to reconcile or reach a mutual compromising decision before moving to the divorce step.

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Many people born into Muslim families, understand when a Muslim woman gets married she has to take her husband’s surname. However when we learn about Muslim culture or for that matter the non Muslim culture as well, we tend to realize that this is a totally UN-Islamic tradition that people carry out.

Before delving into this matter in detail, it’s essential to understand that under Islamic ruling our children should be named according to our parents for instance if a child is named as “X ibn Y” (ibn means son of) or “X ibnatu Y” (ibnatu means daughter of), it becomes even more clearer that it’s not possible to rename a woman using the name of her husband after marriage. However this pathetic situation that we are facing nowadays has led to even surprising our younger generation with this UN-Islamic culture! Due to this, it has become a serious issue nowadays and if we do not take the necessary actions to rectify this situation it would lead to complete destruction of the Sunnah (i.e. the lifestyle of the Prophet Muhammad).

Due to the gradual removal of the above Islamic etiquette of naming a child, and the lack of knowledge to learn Muslim culture the woman has also being taken into the Western and non Muslim philosophy of taking the husband’s name after marriage. Allah says in the Quran, Surah Ahzab verse 5, “Call them by [the names of] their fathers; it is more just in the sight of Allah. But if you do not know their fathers – then they are [still] your brothers in religion and those entrusted to you. And there is no blame upon you for that in which you have erred but [only for] what your hearts intended. And Ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful”

Also there is a hadith that is narrated in both Bukhari and Muslim which reads, “On the Day of Resurrection, each betrayer will have a banner raised beside him, and it will be said, this is the betrayer of So and so the son of So and so.” This hadith also further emphasizes on the fact that Islam gives the children as the caretaking of the father even after a woman gets married. This is because the father is responsible for maintaining the child and his mother both outside and even inside the household. Also the fact that the father takes the means to mix with people in the marketplace and undertake several risks in order to earn a halal living for his family and for the sake of Allah. Therefore the children are given the name of their father with respect to this and not of the mother because Allah said in the Quran in Surah Ahzaab verse 33, “And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves”

Furthermore by analyzing the above verses and hadith more carefully it could be understood that there is no connection or no blood tie with the wife and husband, as a result she does not have to or is not under obligation to take the name of her husband after marriage at any instance whatsoever. Another factor to be considered is that if the woman gets divorced, or if her husband’s dies and she remarries, then according to this un-Islamic tradition she is supposed to keep changing her name every single time, which is ridiculous!

As a result, it’s clear that a woman is not obliged or for that matter not allowed to use her husband’s surname after marriage but should remain with her father’s surname throughout her whole life. Therefore I would recommend that those who have made this mistake or if you know someone who has, should take this matter seriously and take necessary steps to rectify this situation soon, Insha Allah.

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