Qualities of an Ideal Husband; the factors to Consider
It is every woman’s wish to have an ideal husband. Day in day out, enormous chunks of prayer are extended to God for husbands to change, or at least walk according to the Holy teachings. However, ideal husbands are hard to come by just like it is hard to find an ideal wife. Perfect is one adjective that is not applicable when trying to describe husbands from any cultural orientations, any geographical region, any nation and any religion or in any contextual setting.
However, many husbands strive to be the best that they can be and are guided by various forces. These forces stem from their cultural backgrounds, religious predispositions and their unrelenting beliefs to be the best. They are also guided by their personal vocations, as well as, the need to be the best of a husband for self-actualization. This is all in the quest for and the need to be at peace with the person.
Factors to consider in the quest for being an ideal husband
Contrary to what is expected and taught in religious teachings, husbands do not conform to a uniform behavior pattern, but the level of deviation from the expected behavior determines the type of husband that one is and will become. However, there is every need for any person to look deeper and decide the type of character that one want to assume and how that affects the others close to him. Some of the guiding principles include the following;
• Religious purity versus societal image; both Christianity and Islam teach against pre-marital and extra-marital affairs. Adultery is a grave sin and a crime against morality according to the Holy teachings (Qur’an 24:2, Bible: Mark 7:20-23). In most traditional African and Western societies, sexual purity before marriage by men is considered unnecessary, boys are allowed and sometimes encouraged to sleep around and engage in “mock marriages”. However, an ideal husband goes to marriage pure and committed.
• Love versus beauty; a number of irresponsible husbands are guided by bodily and trivial considerations when choosing a mate, but ideal husbands are guided by love and respect. As the saying goes, beauty is only skin deep and do not buy beef. The Holy teachings guide ideal husbands not to consider wealth, education, social status or any other triviality other than love. Ideal husbands go ahead and pester their wives with true love and embrace, protect and comfort them at all times (Qur’an 4:34, Bible: Ephesians 5:25-28)
• Polygamy versus monogamy; Any perfect African traditional husband works hard to accumulate wealth for only one purpose, marry as many wives and sire as many children as possible. Wife inheritance is a duty not a choice and fortunately, divorces are usually unheard of. However, ideal husbands always consult and subscribe to what is right rather than what is acceptable. Christian teachings allow only monogamous relationships based on love and respect. In the same way, Islamic teachings encourage the same, but give room for those who can afford to be polygamous, but love their wives equally “..if you fear you cannot be just between them, then marry only one.” (Qur’an 4:3)
It is therefore apparent that an ideal husband is the one who follows the guidelines stipulated in the teachings of God. It is also true that a relationship that is based on love and respect never fails. An ideal husband is not attractive or gorgeous but tolerant, patient, loving, kind, courteous, hard worker, protector, fatherly, responsible, prayerful, meek, meticulous, cool- tempered, joyous, respectful, accommodating, flexible, open-minded, truthful, faithful, diligent, polite, dependable, humble, parental and compassionately straight in all his ways.
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