Allah Almighty says, “This day I have perfected for you your religion …” (Holy Quran 5: 3).
When we become parents we find ourselves in a confusion and torn between different parenting theories. Therefore it is important to look at all the do’s of don’ts of parenting that Islam describes.
Choosing good partners
An important aspect of parenting begins even before birth, i.e. choosing righteous and responsible partners. Islam forbids marrying non believers and discourages us from marrying sinful people. At one occasion Holy Prophet (PBUH) advised believers to choose a woman because of her religion. At another occasion He (PBUH) said,
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “The best Women are the riders of the camels and the righteous among the Women of Quraish. They are the kindest Women to their children in their childhood and the more careful Women of the property of their husbands.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Rituals and naming
Once born rituals of Adhan, circumcision (of boys), and aqeeqah should be followed. Similarly the Holy Prophet (PBUH) encouraged us to name children after prophets.
Rights of Children
Allah has given children rights over parents just like He has given parents rights over children. The Prophet (PBUH) said “… and your child has rights over you.” Sahih Muslim
Giving children their rights is the most important aspect of Islamic upbringing. Some are as follows.
Physical needs
Giving clothes, shelter, food and healthy activities like sports. Holy Prophet (PBUH) used to play with kids; chased them during play and raced with Hazrat Ayesha (Radi Allahu Anha). Moderate recreation and festivities are also favored.
Psychological need
First and foremost is love and attention. Holy Prophet (PBUH) kissed children and allowed them to sit in his lap.
“Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra’ bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, ”I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them,” Allah’s Apostle cast a look at him and said, ”Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.”(Sahih Bukhari)
Education and Training
Most important education is to let children learn Holy Quran and Sunnah. Especially Salah (Namaz) should be taught to them at a tender age.
Respect and Self esteem
It is a very important yet highly neglected right, and justice among siblings is also stressed at various occasions so as to protect children from resentment and hatred.
Protection
Children are an Amant from Allah. We are accountable for their well being in Akhirah. In today’s society sexual assault of minors has become a plague. It’s a huge responsibility of Parents to protect kids by all possible means be it by restricting servants and cousins, keeping tabs on company, raising awareness in family and building a culture where everyone is looking out for everyone.
Discipline
Islam strikes the right balance between reward and punishment. Just like pricking a sick child with needles and knives, discipline is the sour medicine for unruliness.
As a last resort and for disciplinary purpose only parents can beat children as long as they don’t hit on face and sensitive parts and don’t leave a bruise.
The concept of “spare the rod and spoil the child” was very sneered at in the western world up until now when western overindulgence is giving bitter fruits. Parents are allowed to scold their child for the purpose of discipline as advised by the Holy Prophet (PBUH). However parents cannot abuse this authority.
Hazrat Anas ibn Malik (Radi Allahu Anho) served the Holy Prophet (PBUH) for ten years when he was a boy he said. “Every work that I did was not according to the desire of my master, but He (PBUH) never said to me: Fie, nor did He (PBUH) say to me: Why did you do this? Or why did you not do this?” Holy Prophet (PBUH) himself had never beaten a child.
Holy Quran has taught many duas for off springs and many prophets made dua for their children like Hazrat Zakariya Alaih Salam. Also Holy Prophet (PBUH) forbade parents from cursing their children.
With so much rights ordained for our children by Holy Quran and Sunnah, we don’t have any room left to make an excuse with regards to their responsibility. Kids are in fact the greatest gift and blessing of Allah Almighty and we should thank Him for this precious treasure by following these guidelines.
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